Currently typing this blog entry while waiting for my flight to board. I’ll be in Japan in a few hours again.

The past 3 weeks here in Manila had been very emotionally draining for me because of my grandma’s situation. Trying my best to keep myself together for me and my family. Been reprimanding myself to appreciate the littlest things around me too. It’s tough but I just can’t help but to feel very vulnerable right now… I guess it’s really okay to be not okay sometimes too. ;__;


I’ve been accompanying my mother in and out of the hospital with my cousins. As much as I wanted to just stay longer here in Manila, I have to go back, continue working, and finish my important tasks as my other family members in Japan head home to visit Nanay (we take turns because it’s tougher if we all go back together) I might book a flight again after I finish all work because I know that in my heart that I have to be beside my grandma most especially during her struggles. Our Nanay has been in the ICU for the past days (not sure if she will be moved to a private room today, God I hope so..)… I admire her strength so much. She’s already 88 yrs. old and she survived a lung cancer-related disease 4 years ago. It’s just really painful to see and watch her in such condition with all the tubes and other painful needles. Sigh ;_;

A big part of who I am today is because of her unconditional love for me right from the start. She took care of me while my parents worked, brought me to school (nursery – early elementary years), cooked for me, waited with me outside the house for my schoolbus to arrive, cooked my favorite Filipino food (Beefsteak, Sinigang, name it, Nanay can cook it), taught me how to be street-smart and how to haggle.. and so much more. She has not realized that she taught me on how to be a super woman all these years. She’s not blood-related relative but for me, she is true family. 🙂

I admire her a lot because she has influenced a lot of people by living a life of service and love. I also want to be like her. She might be a little grumpy at times, but that what makes her charming. ;_;



Seeking solace in the hospital’s chapel.


I hope that it is not much to ask but please include my grandma in your prayers too.


Thank you so much for taking time to read this. I appreciate it. It feels like a friend is listening to me as I talk about my present worries and all.



14 thoughts on “Hopeful

  1. Its true that you don’t have to be related in order to make a lovely family<3 Hope your Nanay gets her strength back in no time. 🙂 And don't forget to take care of yourself too dear Kaila<3

  2. Praying for your Grandma! Hope all goes well. Sorry to hear that your family is passing through such a difficult time. I know that it’s hard to be positive in moments like this but try to be as positive and you can be I’m sure your Grandma would want you to be. <3 *Hugs*

  3. It’s awful to hear of such sad things as this. Have a safe flight back for a start, and I also hope your grandma gets well soon. She sounds like an amazing person, but unfortunately everyone must suffer at some time or another. I’m sure she will have the strength to keep going- I mean after all, she must be pretty strong to be fine after a lung cancer-related disease.
    Stay strong. All you can do is hope for the best and try your best to stay positive during dark times such as these.
    I wish the best for all of you <3

  4. Kaila!!! I have not been active online for a long time,So i didn’t know about your Nanay’s Situation and you being in Manila,It was a big shock for me reading about this!! I can totally understand what you are going through and I sincerely hope everything will be alright!I will definitely pray for her!! She sounds like an Amazing person,And I can tell from your post how much she means to you!!!Please stay strong!!Everything is going to be fine!!
    Sending much love and positivity to your family! <3
    I hope your Nanay gets well soon! <3 <3


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