How To Survive The First Stage of Adulting

Hi everyone!

Finally, here’s the blog entry I’ve promised before! I really miss writing reflective blog posts such as this. Hopefully, this will be useful to anyone out there who is currently struggling or confused about his / her path. ^^

Before I give some advice, let me share a bit of my personal struggles a year or so ago. I feel comfortable in sharing some of these because I’ve already overcome some. : )

YAY story time ~

I think that everyone will arrive at some point wherein he / she feels lost about his or her career path. More than a year or so ago, at our company (which is being run by my older brother Eric), I was given an insanely BIG task. I had to setup a successful and profitable online store for JapanLover.me (which is Japan Lover Me Store now). I had to find the formula from taking pictures, listing the items, promoting the products, taking care of our clients, generating sales, and so much more (of course, with my brother’s assistance). We were only THREE in the company that time (my bro, my cousin, and me) who were juggling all these jobs (physically) in Japan. I am very thankful of my teammates from Manila (Chichi and Kaye) because they really have been so HELPFUL right from the start regarding other responsibilities such as graphic design help and social media boosting. We couldn’t hire more people because we had to sell our first batch of souvenir jackets first before investing in more hands. From 50, it became 100 sukajan, then 500.. and now, it’s around 2500+ souvenir jackets. Eventually, we have become more financially capable to hire part-timers (hi Shinanoさん and Justin) and more people (hi Anne) in the company. To cut the story short, there were many times that I wanted to give up (add my self-diagnosed PMDD for more stress.. omg T_T.. )… and at the same time, I was being torn between doing this “day job” of mine (which was like my 24/7 job before haha) and pursuing my content creator dream / path which in the end, I am still fighting for even up to now.

While being frustrated, I realized that sometimes, you really cannot have enough time just to do everything that you want. There is never “enough time” for a person like me who is so active in life. My busyness / workload was getting out of hand and I had to manage my time more wisely by prioritizing. From then on, I’ve become more strategic on how I handle my limited hours in a day. Now, I spend my mornings building my kawaii lifestyle shop (Rainbowholic Shop) and filming videos for my youtube channel alternately (+ fitness time). I restarted my youtube from 2k subs. Now, there are 11k+ people (I hope you are all real haha) who’ve subscribed. Because of the extra income I got from my shop since last year (thank you to my dearest clients for supporting), I was able to raise funds for my parents’ trip to Tokyo this time. I thought that it was really impossible because I was soooo broke! What I did was, I just took everything as a challenge and never stopped doing anything. Even with little resources, I tried my best to maximize each yen I had. Because of this, I suddenly had little time for complaining and nonsense dreaming (not working on them). During that phase, I also focused myself to learn more things such as advanced video editing and maintaining a youtube channel. It was super hectic but I would say that it has been such a joyful experience up to now even with eyebags and all. ❤️ I am still far from my initial goal and I still feel that I am halfway there but now, I have more confidence to accomplish things even though there are still bad days that I experience (because.. I’m also human haha). Since, I’ve succeeded in leading a team and creating a workflow in the company even during my worst personal struggles.. nothing right now seems impossible anymore. Sure, it takes time.. but time passes by anyway, right? When I’ve fully accepted all the responsibilities required of me in order for me to achieve my long list of wants in life, I have regained 100% control of my life. It really is up to me if I want to be happy or not. It is up to me if I want something to be completed or unfinished. I can only blame myself if I don’t achieve my dream. A bit too hard on myself for others, but this kind of mindset always keeps me grounded.

Now that I have shared one of my first adulting successes as a happy 26 yr. old who lives an imperfect life, let me share some tips that worked for me to survive the first stage of adulting in bullet form. Haha!

Adulting 101 Practical Tips

  • Invest in yourself.
    • On loving yourself
      • Learning to love myself wasn’t an overnight achievement. It took me some time, lots of (handpicked) advice from close friends and parents, self-help books, youtube videos, travels and dates with myself, and so much more. I figured that if I truly love myself, I will not stress myself about things that do not bring me joy anymore. I’ve learned to say no to many things that I’m not comfortable with and yes to things that make me happy + scary-at-first opportunities that help me grow. : ) Right now as I grow older, I only maintain quality friendships and I no longer make time for half-hearted relationships that just confuse me. Because I love myself, I know who to keep close in my life and I try my best to stray away from drama.
    • On building your dreams first before.. anything else
      • Just an older sister tip to any little sister reader out there… please do prioritize building some of your dreams first before you look for love. Love will come at the right place, at the right time.. and it will be the right person, if you are also the right person for him / her. Do your job first. Your dream is your problem and #1 priority as of now. I know I may sound like a super auntie right now, but you will thank me later. I thanked myself a lot when I chose to focus on completing myself first instead of looking for someone to complete me. I reached the point wherein I was already 100% satisfied and happy with my life and love life is just another positive addition to my already complete simple life. Maybe this does not apply to everyone but I think that this kind of mentality helped me attract the person I wanna be with. 🙂
    • On cultivating your passions / hobbies
      • So what if you love childlike things? So what if stickers and stationery still make you giddy at 25? Cultivate your passions / hobbies and care less about what others think. If I listened to everyone who judged my love for cuteness, I wouldn’t be here, haha. I wouldn’t be able to find a way to setup my own online stationery shop and youtube channel filled with kawaii journaling videos. These are still not 100% successful as I still have current goals for both but being halfway there is something I should proud of.
    • On being open to learning new things
      • For me, life is an never-ending journey of learning. Most of the things I’m doing right now were self-taught and something that I actively sought after for. Having an open mind and willingness to learn changed my life. Whenever I feel stressed for no reason.. I know it must be that time again that I must learn something new from a book / youtube video / and the like. Last year, I began to learn and research more about active lifestyle, fitness, exercise, and running in order to find a remedy for my PMDD. I’m so glad I did something about it and now, I feel like doing so really helped me to take control of this secret internal battle of mine for years.

 

  • Be organized.
    • Learn how to manage your time wisely
      • We will never have enough time, so it might be best to prioritize which to do first or be strategic at least. For example, if you have work from 10am – 8pm like me, and you have ample time to do anything in the morning.. might as well wake up earlier and do something for yourself. This is what I always tell myself. Don’t waste time than can be used for you to reach your goals faster.
    • Know where your money goes
      • I am not sure if others also do this but I keep track of my money by using excel / an iPhone app (expensify). If I don’t track, I feel like I’d be so confused where my money flies to, haha. If you like spending a lot like me (especially for stationery investments for my shop and personal use, etc.), you haaaave to be organized. We are not growing any younger and we need to be responsible with our finances.

 

  • More working, less complaining please.
    • “If you are not even planning how to do it or starting it, you have no right to complain.” This is the real talk I’d always give to myself.

 

  • Minimize your expectations.
    • This is the best advice that I’ve ever gotten that I’ve also applied in many aspects. When I lessened my expectations from everything (opportunities, friendships, family, love life, work, etc.), that’s when things that I’ve always hope for started to come true. Maybe that’s really how just life goes? Haha! 🙂

There you go~! I hope that this list + story time made sense, hehe!

I still feel that I’m struggling right now but compared from before, I feel much happier, relaxed, and satisfied. ^^

Thanks for reading!

<3, カイラ

13 thoughts on “How To Survive The First Stage of Adulting

  1. Thank you so much for your inspiring words! You seem to be wise beyond your years and I’m sure that you will be (even more) successful because of the effort and time you invest into your kawaii business. You are an inspiration to me, even though I’m much older. Maybe it’s comforting for you to know that I still like stationery, stickers and cute things in general. People don’t stop playing because they grow old, they grow old because they stop playing. Also I really enjoyed to see that you could bring your parents over for a visit in Japan! The best of luck in chasing your dreams (^_^)/

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  2. Just in time Kaila! Half of last yr and up to now I’m having a bit of a struggle with something. It’s good to be reminded that we can elevate ourselves.

    True about loving yourself first. I honestly don’t know who are my quality friends which sucks lol. But I guess it made me not too dependent on others.

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  3. First of all…………. I love you ;u; thank you for writing this! I know a have such a long loooong way to go to achieve the kind of mindset you have but I’ll get there ^^ also the auntie advice you gave me….. Noted sis hehe ♡

    thank you for always ALWAYSSS being such an inspiring Ate ♡

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  4. Just curious, but is your blog hosted by wordpress? Love your blog btw Kaila! I check it everyday!

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  5. Your mindset, self love and confidence are always mind blowing for me.. thank you so much for being awesome Kaila, love from Indonesia <3

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  6. Thanks Kaila for your precious advices ! You give me the motivation to achieve all the things I’ve wanted to do 🙂

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  7. Hey Kaila what do you use print photos and paste stuff into your hobonichi? I tried Modge Podge (don’t know if you have that there in Japan) and it was a mess. Thanks!

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