“Everything you’ve ever wanted is right outside your comfort zone.”
I don’t know why but these past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing some personal challenges. These are actually quite work-related & I could not pinpoint why I was struggling (even with all my positivity and optimism energy bars lol.. Kaila is a human after all haha) but I think I’ve finally figured it out. I was feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities because I was getting more & more uncomfortable each day. Naturally, anyone who experiences discomfort would either take it as a learning, or a negative thing. And one bad day, the negative side of me took these challenges “as a negative thing”. And I cried my eyeballs out. People would usually not blog about these bad days, but here I am, showing & writing my vulnerability for the world to read. I don’t know why but it does not bother me anymore whenever I share my “from 0 to 100 percent” days, haha.
Whenever I feel like I need to reenergize myself.. or to keep myself back on track, I would reach out for my favorite colored pens and notebook and draw positive doodles. After that, I would feel much better. Then my negative self would start to fade away while my positive side reawakens itself. I guess this is what makes “living” interesting. It’s how you rise up whenever your knees get weakened by the fear of uncertainty. And sometimes.. many people forget about the fact that where uncertainty is, there is also the place we realize our dreams.
These days… I have been thinking, thinking about what “success” really means to me. Is it the fact that “I’m already living my dream” in Japan..? As I began to think, I think I could say that “living my dream” has been checked from my checklist already. But something still feels a little bit “off”, my self would tell myself (lololol). And then one random night, it hit me.