Missing Philippines

Even if I am comfortably living a first world life here in Japan, I will always miss Philippines.

Oh how I wish that my home is just a jeepney / train ride away. If that is so, I would definitely go back and forth every so often. But alas, I am still dreaming of the day when I can just book anytime I want. Still daydreaming and working everyday on how to make these crazy thoughts inside my head possible.

I will make it possible. ぜったい. 

For now, I’ll just treasure and keep these beloved memories when I was in PH / whenever I’m in Manila.. inside my heart. And of course, I’ll just immortalize these fun moments through this blog. ^^

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Doki doki time. Excited to see my family after more than half a year!

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Had sisig for my first meal in Manila with my parents

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Watching shows with my niece, Riona

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Transformed my brother’s room to my mini working space.

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Chocnut time!

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Back Home For Nanay


I haven’t told a lot of people about this.

I’ve been here in Manila for quite some time.


This time, it’s not about a business trip or a long vacation like what I would usually do in the past.

It’s actually because a very dear family member is really sick at the moment. When I found out that her sickness was worsening, I impulsively booked a flight to Manila without much preparations. I think that I had mentioned it before that going home was not part of the plan this 2015 because I wanted to concentrate on the work projects we have for the entire year.. but if a special person / your family needs your companionship, how can you ignore the situation? *sniff* I will never forget the smile and look on her face when I “surprised” her with my presence and haggard self. It’s amazing that with just your mere presence, you can light up someone’s day.

Nanay. We all fondly call her as “Nanay” (which means “Mom” in English) and we treat her like our real grandmother. She is actually our family nanny and all of my siblings and I grew up under her loving care. She cooked for the entire family too. Everything that Nanay made before in her prime years… super delicious, for sure! Oh how I treasure those moments. ;u;

I’ve been here for the past 2-3 weeks already (got lost track of time) and I’ll be going back to Japan soon so that my other cousin can go home too while I take over & help my brother with our work. I can’t wait to book again a flight after saving up enough money in Japan. It really pains me and bothers me a lot that I cannot be here at home for a long time so I could take care of Nanay. 🙁 Honestly, it has been such a whirlwind of emotions recently and I’ve had a lot of sad moments. It’s okay to be not super okay at times, I guess. I am just praying a lot right now for her health. ;_;

Anyway..  I don’t want to finish this blog entry while having a sudden crying fest.. or continue to write about sad things. Yikes!

For now, here are some photos / moments that made me smile and happy during my stay here. : )


Had a Jollibee date with Anne Kate after my surprise Cosmania visit.

Having a great day with a friend + meeting your kawaii family spontaneously = the best! I temporarily forgot my problems and fears that time.


Went out the house to refresh. Bought books and read a lot to keep myself from thinking about sad things.

You really have to find and create yourself your own sunshine during a stormy phase / week.


After Nanay’s hospital check-up, mom gave us a treat. Yay for simple joys such as this sundae from McDonald’s!


My hyperactive niece Riona really cheered up everyone’s spirits!

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Dreams & Comfort Zones


 “Everything you’ve ever wanted is right outside your comfort zone.”

I don’t know why but these past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing some personal challenges. These are actually quite work-related & I could not pinpoint why I was struggling (even with all my positivity and optimism energy bars lol.. Kaila is a human after all haha) but I think I’ve finally figured it out. I was feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities because I was getting more & more uncomfortable each day. Naturally, anyone who experiences discomfort would either take it as a learning, or a negative thing. And one bad day, the negative side of me took these challenges “as a negative thing”. And I cried my eyeballs out. People would usually not blog about these bad days, but here I am, showing & writing my vulnerability for the world to read. I don’t know why but it does not bother me anymore whenever I share my “from 0 to 100 percent” days, haha.

Whenever I feel like I need to reenergize myself.. or to keep myself back on track, I would reach out for my favorite colored pens and notebook and draw positive doodles. After that, I would feel much better. Then my negative self would start to fade away while my positive side reawakens itself. I guess this is what makes “living” interesting. It’s how you rise up whenever your knees get weakened by the fear of uncertainty. And sometimes.. many people forget about the fact that where uncertainty is, there is also the place we realize our dreams.

These days… I have been thinking, thinking about what “success” really means to me. Is it the fact that “I’m already living my dream” in Japan..? As I began to think, I think I could say that “living my dream” has been checked from my checklist already. But something still feels a little bit “off”, my self would tell myself (lololol). And then one random night, it hit me.

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