How I’ve Been + Why I Create 🌈

Hi everybody!

Last week, I’ve made a big decision which has been truly helpful so far.

Hmm… what could it be?? Lol ~

I’ve taken a break from most social media platforms.

This might not be a big deal to some people, but it is definitely a big one for me. If you’re someone who puts herself out there in the internet world, we cannot deny that social media really play a role especially if your work relies on it too (for commissioned posts / promotions / announcements).

To be honest, social media is like both a cure and a poison for me. Poison is a little bit strong of a word but you know what I mean, haha. Yes, it’s everyone’s cure for boredom. On the other hand, it can also be an unconscious addiction. It was becoming a latter for me to the point it was being unhealthy. Not that I feel insecure or compare myself to people I follow because I actually feel admiration towards them haha.. it’s more like I get sooooo distracted and I lose precious time! (Kaila, stop exploring hashtags! LOL)

If only I could have a duplicate Kaila who could update her ig often and not feeling stressed at the same time, lol. But let’s be real, I’m only one person. If you sent me a DM and I wasn’t able to reply, I really don’t check my unread inboxes because I just feel overwhelmed and not in a good way most of the time. If I feel relaxed at that time, I enjoy opening it. If not, it has this other effect.. huhu. #sorrynotsorry

My phone is so slow now and I’m actually happy about it because it prevents me from opening instagram / twitter apps. Not sure if I will be back (as of now, I don’t feel like going back) and I think that if people are really interested in me / the content that I do, they can just always access it through my blog or youtube. That’s how it was when I started blogging a decade ago.

Bloghopping was a huge thing, haha! I still do it now and I even search for blogs for inspiration. Not sure if it’s the same with everyone!

To add, I just wanna share some realizations lately. I’m really thankful that I’ve learned these!

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What Living In Japan Has Taught Me 🌸

7 years ago, my ultimate dream came true. 

7年前、私の究極の夢が実現しました。日本に住むという夢です。

Photo by mumsh Abbey

I call it my cherry blossom dream. Thanks to my hardworking brother, I was able to start a new life as a Japanese language student here in Japan. I repaid his love by working with him in growing his company where I was able to do a wide scope of work from packing fragile Japanese antiques, to setting up an online store as the number one source of vintage souvenir jackets. It was a crazy type of additional schooling, lol. Still grateful for the craziness.

私はそれを桜の夢と呼んでいます。勤勉な兄のおかげで、ここ日本の留学生として新しい生活を始めることができました。兄に恩返しするために日本の骨董品を梱包することから世界一のスカジャンオンラインストアを設立することまで幅広い仕事をして兄の会社の成長に協力しました。仕事はとてもクレイジーなほど忙しく大変でしたが、そこから様々なことを学ぶことができ、感謝しています。

As I started my journey, I relaunched my passion for sharing creative content and blogging. I blogged about my simple life and fascination over kawaii culture. I met many people. I also said goodbye to many people. They also said goodbye to me. I moved on and eventually became ready to open new doors too. Experience is the best teacher as they say.

私が旅を始めた頃、沢山の人にクリエイティブなコンテンツとブログを共有するという情熱が再び湧きました。カワイイ文化に対する私のシンプルライフと魅力についてブログしました。沢山の新しい人に出会い、同時に沢山の人に別れを告げました。彼らもまた私に別れを告げました。私は前へ進み続け、最終的に新しい扉を開く準備をしました。経験は最高の教師とはよくいったものです。

I went through a lot of phases. I had many achievements. I also had an equal share of setbacks. Yin and yang. I went through depression. That rock bottom served as my solid foundation that helped me find my purpose in life. I realized that I’m only alive for less than 10 decades, what the hell am I complaining about?

私は多くの段階を経て、沢山の成果を収めましたが、同時に同じくらいの反動も受けました。陰と陽。私はうつ病を経験して岩底まで落ちましたが、その経験は人生の目的を見つけるのに非常に役立ちました。人生の内のたった少ししか生きてないのに、何について不平を言えるでしょうか?

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What Has Changed In Me

Hi all,

It’s been getting colder and colder here in Japan and autumn season is just around the corner. For some reason, I am feeling a little more pensive these days… hence, this wordy post.

I think it’s good for me to stop and reflect for a while because life has been pretty fast for me currently. I just finished my work today and I’m listening to some nature sounds outside (it rained today) and this feels like the perfect chance for me to sit down and type away my thoughts.

Sukajan from JLM STORE | Photo by Anne Pinero

I cannot believe that we are already approaching the end of the year and I am still at awe how I’ve managed to survive (still attempting to survive lol) this rocky year for personal growth. It’s not that kind of drastic change like I have turned into a completely new person… but more of realizing that I have improved a lot & getting rid of traits that I had to work on. I just wished for these before but now, everything feels natural to me. To summarize everything, I take care of myself more now compared to years ago.

To be more specific, here are some things that I have noticed that changed in me.

  • I no longer feel the need or urgency to try the newest thing / visit the most talked-about cafe / *insert trending activity* here as soon as possible. I spend most of my free time at home and if I have extra money to unwind outside, then I would give myself some fresh air. In this way, I could save up more money for my business goal. I can also turn down offers / invites now during days I have to be “responsible” (lol).

 

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On Not Taking Things Personally

Hi all!

I’m currently escaping from my real job today. Just kidding! :)) I’ve already finished all the required tasks for JLM store (for the first half of the day haha) but will resume later! 😉

Anywaaaay, I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for so long but I figured that this is the right time to do so. I super miss writing reflection papers here! Just recently, I experienced something that tested my “maturity” again haha.

dont-take-things-personally.jpg

Often times, we get super disheartened (and eventually, angry / mad / negative) when we face rejection, when something unfavorable happens, or when somebody treats us poorly (in an unexpected way!). Throughout the years, I think that I had shed a lot of tears and I had consciously let myself sulk for days because of these situations that I was into. Circumstances that I did not even want to be in (I mean, who wants to be saaad?). However, all those years & not-so-good experiences have become my gems.. experiences-turned-pages of my very own life manual of “what should Kaila do in the future”. I realized that before, whenever a sad situation arises (let’s compare this to “spilled milk”), I would have the tendency to silently beat myself up (and at some point, I would also believe my overly emotional self that I was indeed.. the victim) and continue to spill the milk more lol because I got my emotions scattered all over the place. Good thing was.. it wasn’t too late when I realized that even if it was not my fault / idea or this sad situation was brought upon by an external factor, I should be strong enough not to take it to heart. No matter what others tell about you or how poorly they treat you when you’re trying to be sincere and genuine, those do not matter at all in reality (another learning: don’t expect anything in return even if you give 😉 ). And that’s what I have been trying my best to “train” myself for the past years even if I’ve stumbled along the way too. Phew.

I don’t really want to cite a specific experience but I guess the point of what I’m just trying to impart with this blog entry is that.. let’s choose to be free. One will only feel truly free if he/she stops taking things personally. When you listen (there’s a difference between listening & believing vs. hearing & just knowing) and take things personally, you are actually allowing yourself to waste precious energy you could have exerted in more positive things. Now, whenever I’d encounter situations wherein I would feel as if I was being “trolled” (or the other side is being unfair towards me), I would just rather be honest and walk away when it’s too much already. As of the moment, I’m really justt too busy to dwell. Haha. I’ve decided that I want to live my life consciously by choosing quality (quality circle of friends / quality business partners / everything quality). Sometimes it’s hard to decide what stays in or stays out of your life.. but we gotta do it. We have to be realistic and practical and filter the golden good from the bad. If you truly value self-love, you will only associate yourself (even if it’s only internally as of the moment) with an inspiring environment that could boost your morale & motivate you to do things! 🙂

Life will be more challenging and challenging for us as we grow and mature as individuals. It’s up to us if we want to spend most of ours hours within the day taking things personally and by getting ourselves affected by external factors so much (Future Kaila, read this all over again haha). I realized that some of the stress I had been feeling was coming from the way I also react to certain situations. If somebody treats me poorly again in the future, I’ll just gather up all my courage and energy to use these to chase more dreams and forget about this “somebody” (and let the universe decide what should happen to this one). I’d rather use these bad experiences as fuel / drive for success than let them get into my heart and make me feel discouraged / mad / negative. I think that whenever I am being provoked and affected too much, there’s a devil somewhere who is silently happy and giggling seeing me being all stressed out with my negative reactions / situations. Uhmm, dude, no. :))

Sorry Mr. Devil but this girl’s got a “how to live a stress-free life* manual with her already. Haha! 🙂

I guess that would be all for now. Yay musings ~

<3,

カイラ