After a week of trying to slow down things (it was an attempt, guys haha) because I felt that my body wasn’t in coordination with my own deadlines, I had been contemplating how much this blog’s direction has changed for a while. When Mica interviewed me before for her kawaii inspiration series (huhu thank you), I gave myself a new title as a blogger. Kawaii Lifestyle Blogger doesn’t feel quite right anymore, and I feel that more of my entries are inclining towards motivational ones… hence an upgraded version of me- Rainbowholic: A Kawaii Lifestyle & Motivational Blogger.
And this is probably a result of my innate nature as a “listener” in conversations ever since. At first, I could not speak nor give unsolicited advice because I used to feel that I’m not the best person to give advice (at that time, I was still struggling with all my dreams. now, a lot has changed even though I’m still working on a lot of things) but now.. I would like to do something about a certain past “pet peeve” of mine. Sometimes, I’d come across with people who confide in me about their dreams, troubles, and the like. Sometimes, my closest friends or even my parents would also share their sentiments about me during their unmotivated moments / distressing times. I wasn’t in the position to give sound advice so I just offered my “you can do it!” and listening ear. I wanted to reach out to others but it felt like if I did, I wouldn’t be true to myself because I wasn’t somebody who could confidently say “I did it, so you can too!”. I was getting recognized, yes.. but my definition of success has always been different.
For some, success means financial freedom / graduation from masters / living the dream / reaching a certain figure (which I also agree to)… but for me, “ultimate success” is only “success” when I’ve shared it with others by living a life of example (you can’t preach anything if you haven’t experienced it haha) + by being the light in someone’s darkness (too deep but #realtalk haha). I don’t know why but maybe one of the traits (sometimes both good and bad) that I’m glad that I have is being “nurturing” (try becoming a daughter of my mother, hehe). Is it crazy to say that I find happiness when I am able to push someone to follow what his/her heart truly wants?
And that is the reason why I wanted to do something that I’m out of control (pet peeve = annoyances caused by external factors) by doing what I can instead and leaving it up to the person / others on how they would take my solution. And that “something I wanted to do” would be blogging / kawaii projects / whatever platform that I have, since I can take control of these. I am quite aware that even if I put a lot of motivational or moving stories here, it would always be up to receiver on how she/he would digest or apply it to his/her own life. Whenever I hear stories or sentiments about “I can’t do this because _____” or excuses from another person, I would like to be that girl who would give a “reality check + boost” for this person. To be frank I guess, I think I’ve grown quite tired of hearing the same excuses / reasons why people give up so easily (and blame the world) on their dreams. Please don’t get me wrong though.. I don’t dislike the person that does think of that, but I’m quite sick of the fact that not all people are enlightened about the zillion possibilities they can create every day. It seems that the world has turned other people grim / sad / sour / bitter about living a life of their dreams and I guess, even if I cannot really “change” that literally.. I want to contribute by making some difference. World, don’t be like that huhu.
I had been that person who complained, who didn’t understand why failures had to happen, who weren’t that blessed to have a more comfortable background / childhood… I simply had more questions to ask and blaming to do that I lost energy in taking full responsibility of my perspectives and my life’s direction. As of the moment, of course, everyday is a learning process but I am glad that I have become more open-minded than before. If you tell me that you want to become a renowned photographer or award-winning artist like Murakami, I would tell you frankly that is really UP TO YOU. I know that believing in someone goes a long way, but for some reason, even if they do believe in us, we just find it hard to believe in ourselves. I’ve experienced it. Even if people were rooting for me, I didn’t feel like “me” was rooting for me. And what I want to achieve with all of these is to make you believe that believing in yourself (and not only waiting for others & go signal or YES or approval) is one of the keys to reach your wildest dreams. You.. yourself will be the only person who can allow biggest positive changes and grandest blessings / opportunities to happen in your life. ^^v
And that is the story about a certain pet peeve of mine.