This post has been on my mind for days and I just want to write down all my thoughts about this topic. Thank you so much Eimear for suggesting this! I think that this topic is interesting and I actually get asked a lot about this. Indeed.. where the heck do I source my motivation / inspiration from?
I do read lots of books, entrepreneurship / leadership-related articles, and watch TED-x / motivational youtube videos .. but these are just 20% of the whole Kaila’s Inspiration Pie. I shall be writing about the remaining 80%.
Although you probably see or view me as someone who has a perfect rainbow life since I have been living most of my chidlhood dreams now, I would say that “perfect” is still the least word to describe my life… nor I make an effort it to become one (best life >> perfect life). To calm my stormy days, I would need buckets and buckets of inspiration and consistent motivation to keep going. And these buckets are the following that I’ll be discussing below. PREPARE!! So many text hahaha
1. My Past Frustrated Self
You know why I would always push people to “come out” from their shell and have the inner strength to live an unapologetic life by being your crazy amazing self? It’s because I was once part of this people who were just too shy, too scared, too poor, and so much more.
During my teenage years, I was that closeted “kawaii girl” who dressed up in her room, locked the doors, took pictures of herself while getting inspiration from the Japanese fashion magazines that her brother gifted to her (I think those were also second-hand lol). I was just too shy to be fully “Rainbowholic”. My family members would be surprised if I dressed up, put on little make-up, and my conservative mother would always check my outfit from head to toe and give side comments (sigh mothers haha). I was scared of being judged by people by just wearing a hair bowtie I bought from the children’s section in the department store. I was too poor to afford pretty clothes and I would have to save up a week’s allowance just to buy a decent graphic shirt. PHP 300 (600 JPY ) was my “mayaman” / “rich” back then. I stopped school and found ways on how to earn by helping my brother with his online business at ages 16/17. My dad got laid off and I had to teach him how to blog / make a website so that his clients can discover him (and he did). My only solace was my room which used to be our helpers’ quarters (transformed into mini Kaila paradise hehe). Though we have a big house, we also have a big family and I lived my life with a lot of people and personalities. My love for Japan was considered a bit nerdy / geeky / “Japan-japan” so I temporarily hid it for security and strategized my life / visualized everything so I can finally come out of my room with a confident smile that nobody can ever take away from me.
I did not let go of my childhood dreams and I turned my frustrations as my “Someday I will” wishes and actions plans. Even though I “toned down myself” temporarily during the first years of college… it was something that I had to do. I could not go out and take the tricycle, jeepney, MRT, LRT, and all kinds of transportation while wearing an “impractical” outfit that could get a lot of looks. In Manila, I was robbed in the MRT (I just got my first “colored” Nokia that I also worked for), almost got robbed in another time, and I had a horrible hold-up experience in the jeepney.
These experiences in the past fuel my drive to be successful in the future and I swear to God that money will not be an issue anymore (to be honest, it still is now but more “adult-like” money problems such as investment lol guys no more disneyland for me until I earn a lot again haha). I went to a private university in which my parents were first against at (but it was the only school I passed UGH brain why haha) and if I chose the kawaii life that time, I would not be a good daughter. If you’re already in big holy-crap-debt and you’re still pursuing an expensive kawaii lifestyle, you are being a brat. That time, I just accepted the fact that I would have to work hard and get out of the university fast (and not get delayed) so I could finally buy myself pretty clothes that I deserve (just one of my top 100 things to do after earning lol).