A Story About A Pet Peeve + Why I Think Character Defines Real Success

After a week of trying to slow down things (it was an attempt, guys haha) because I felt that my body wasn’t in coordination with my own deadlines, I had been contemplating how much this blog’s direction has changed for a while. When Mica interviewed me before for her kawaii inspiration series (huhu thank you), I gave myself a new title as a blogger. Kawaii Lifestyle Blogger doesn’t feel quite right anymore, and I feel that more of my entries are inclining towards motivational ones… hence an upgraded version of me- Rainbowholic: A Kawaii Lifestyle & Motivational Blogger.

And this is probably a result of my innate nature as a “listener” in conversations ever since. At first, I could not speak nor give unsolicited advice because I used to feel that I’m not the best person to give advice (at that time, I was still struggling with all my dreams. now, a lot has changed even though I’m still working on a lot of things) but now.. I would like to do something about a certain past “pet peeve” of mine. Sometimes, I’d come across with people who confide in me about their dreams, troubles, and the like. Sometimes, my closest friends or even my parents would also share their sentiments about me during their  unmotivated moments / distressing times. I wasn’t in the position to give sound advice so I just offered my “you can do it!” and  listening ear. I wanted to reach out to others but it felt like if I did, I wouldn’t be true to myself because I wasn’t somebody who could confidently say “I did it, so you can too!”. I was getting recognized, yes.. but my definition of success has always been different.

For some, success means financial freedom / graduation from masters / living the dream / reaching a certain figure (which I also agree to)… but for me, “ultimate success” is only “success” when I’ve shared it with others by living a life of example (you can’t preach anything if you haven’t experienced it haha) + by being the light in someone’s darkness (too deep but #realtalk haha). I don’t know why but maybe one of the traits (sometimes both good and bad) that I’m glad that I have is  being “nurturing” (try becoming a daughter of my mother, hehe). Is it crazy to say that I find happiness when I am able to push someone to follow what his/her heart truly wants?

And that is the reason why I wanted to do something that I’m out of control (pet peeve = annoyances caused by external factors) by doing what I can instead and leaving it up to the person / others on how they would take my solution. And that “something I wanted to do” would be blogging / kawaii projects / whatever platform that I have, since I can take control of these. I am quite aware that even if I put a lot of motivational or moving stories here, it would always be up to receiver on how she/he would digest or apply it to his/her own life. Whenever I hear stories or sentiments about “I can’t do this because _____” or excuses from another person, I would like to be that girl who would give a “reality check + boost” for this person. To be frank I guess, I think I’ve grown quite tired of hearing the same excuses / reasons why people give up so easily (and blame the world) on their dreams. Please don’t get me wrong though.. I don’t dislike the person that does think of that, but I’m quite sick of the fact that not all people are enlightened about the zillion possibilities they can create every day. It seems that the world has turned other people grim / sad / sour / bitter about living a life of their dreams and I guess, even if I cannot really “change” that literally.. I want to contribute by making some difference. World, don’t be like that huhu.

I had been that person who complained, who didn’t understand why failures had to happen, who weren’t that blessed to have a more comfortable background / childhood… I simply had more questions to ask and blaming to do that I lost energy in taking full responsibility of my perspectives and my life’s direction. As of the moment, of course, everyday is a learning process but I am glad that I have become more open-minded than before. If you tell me that you want to become a renowned photographer or award-winning artist like Murakami, I would tell you frankly that is really UP TO YOU. I know that believing in someone goes a long way, but for some reason, even if they do believe in us, we just find it hard to believe in ourselves. I’ve experienced it. Even if people were rooting for me, I didn’t feel like “me” was rooting for me. And what I want to achieve with all of these is to make you believe that believing in yourself (and not only waiting for others & go signal or YES or approval) is one of the keys to reach your wildest dreams. You.. yourself will be the only person who can allow biggest positive changes and grandest blessings / opportunities to happen in your life. ^^v

And that is the story about a certain pet peeve of mine.

For the next one, I’ve been reading quite a number of success-related articles and books for insights / personal development.

Maybe, there was a time that I longed for more success / achievements for myself because I love stretching my horizons. But after pondering for quite some time, I realized that success is not actually my definite goal. Having the “character” to do so will define my ideal kind of success.

“Success is always temporary. When all is said and done, the only thing you’ll have left is your character.” – Vince Gill

Have you ever met successful people and wondered how the hell did they become successful (or rich)? And then when you get to know them and you’d realize that indeed, this person has achieved “success” but he/she still needs to work on his/her character . When they say that success can either make or break a person, I feel that it is true. When a person who lacks in character department starts to achieve success (maybe in not-so-good means such as stepping on other people, manipulation, etc.), it’d be quite hard for this person to change his/her attitude because 1) he/she feels too proud about himself/herself; 2) he/she is already at the top. Why bother change for the good when he/she can get away with it?

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.” – Abigail Van Buren

I have met different kinds of people and I’ve encountered some as inspiration for “what not to be”. The attitude that I cannot stand is someone who treats people differently, based on the level that he/she needs from other people. I have probably lost a few “friends” because of this (and I’m fine with it). That is why I admire others more when they know and appreciate me as a fellow human being, not as someone who has created her own influence, and therefore, they want to ride with my success and once they’ve gotten what they need from me, poof they go~. And there are some “successful people” that as you reach the top and gain your foothold at your own pace / right, they would react quite differently and weirdly… like you should be lower than them and they act as if you have no right to grow bigger when you ought to be. Remember the times when we used to admire people who are wealthy / rich / famous because of those facts /adjectives alone on newspapers (feature column)? Now, I think that real success equation would be: admirable character + results. I’ve been told before by someone that I admired so much that.. “I’m / we’re bigger than you.” And at that time, my bubble of respect / everything was popped by those words. Sometimes, you just learn how to choose what kind of people to aspire to be, haha. I’m so glad that I’m not like that, shoving my ego into others’ faces.

On this blog, I have discussed topics about reaching dreams, how-to’s, visualizations and others by storytelling. However, what I’d like to impart to my readers is that solidifying your character and integrity is vital. I believe that these two are the base foundation in all aspects. Whether it’s success or failure, you’re good to go either ways. Whatever that happens to you, whether you’re at the top or at the bottom, with “character”, you can rise. Success is just a result of everything. ^^ Be that surprising yummy cupcake that has filling inside, not just a cupcake with air and sprinkles on top. 😀

“Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are, to some extent, a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage and determination.” – John Luther

I don’t aim to produce or inspire successful people but with flawed attitudes and poor character through my blog sharings. And.. I don’t want you to be supeeeeerrrrrr nice to me, but not nice to others. Because I wouldn’t be what you expect me to be “nice” to you just because you treat me good, while you don’t do the same thing to others. I have been that “others” for many times. You know what it takes for me to be preachy about this? Because I was a struggling nobody before. And was a “waiter” in this quote (metaphorically). Haha.

“A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.”

Now that I am the person who can dine at restaurants, if I could leave a generous tip after a pleasant service, I would.

(not allowed in Japanese setting though haha)

So that this waiter can become also like me, who can afford to go to restaurants and probably have lesser time to think on what he/she really wants to eat. Before, I would compute everything in my brain, adjusting my entire budget and see if I still have transportation money left for me. Now, things are quite better but of course, I still have my frugal moments like before. ^^

And lastly, I just want to share this quote that struck me / relate to me.

“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation.” – John Wooden

…..

It feels good to write all these thoughts in my head, haha. Will edit this and add photos later, hehe.

<3,

カイラ

4 thoughts on “A Story About A Pet Peeve + Why I Think Character Defines Real Success

  1. Wow! I really don’t know how or maybe it’s a way which God chose to make me learn… (yes I think it’s true) I always learn something from your motivational posts…. that’s why I always see you as an Angel :3 thank u so much …. 🙂 I really still don’t know how to thank u enough !!!

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  2. And so true that some people treat us like we’re meant to stay below them and we’re below their status through we actually won’t! I have experienced this with someone who calls me their best friend! !!!!! 😮 😮 😮 yess… seriously. .. and Now , I’ve had my dose of my own angel’s motivation/reality check and start building my character and being a choco lava cake ^-^ (btw I understand everything better with your cute and yummy examples 😀 )

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  3. @susmitha:

    Hello Susmitha-chan! Thank you for considering me as your angel! You’re too sweet, hehe!

    And I agree with you. Sometimes those people who thought are really true to us are the ones who would rather want us to be “below” them, when we can grow and achieve together. Thank you, fellow choco lava cake haha!

    Gambatte always and arigatou for your comments!

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  4. This blog post is beautiful. If it had a human equivalent, I’d fall in love with him/her.

    Ateee ;___; I love this blog post ;__; Perfect post to backread on your blog ;________; I hope we can talk/chat/video chat (if possible huhu) soon because I wanna have an H2H with you about thissss wahhh + other things I contemplate about in my life huhuhuhuhu

    I strongly support your “Kawaii Lifestyle & Motivational Blogger” title because I myself have been motivated by you in so many ways. So many times. And up until now, you motivate me to become a better person — someone like youuuu? Anyway, I love you for this ;__; this blog post talaga ‘o huhuhuhu *hugs laptop screen*

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