Hello everybody ~
I've been out of the loop recently since this is probably one of the toughest weeks for me in a while! But no worries, I'm all good. Choosing positivity over anything! : )
For today's blog entry (and it's perfect for SUNDAY reflections woo), I just want to share how you can turn negative experiences of trolling / bullying / unnecessary hate to positive learnings you can use to grow as a person.
Throughout my life, although I haven't exactly experienced "bullying" (or have I? I cannot remember lol!), I have been disliked by people and have had emotionally tiring relationships that had a lot of drama. And drama is something that I try my best to shy away from now. : ) It cannot be permanently removed in life because drama loves to poke itself to many lives... tempting the people involved to be caught in and to have ill feelings with each other. Huhu.
What I learned for the past months / years is that we do not really have to get along with all the people in the room... we just have to be in the right crowd. And one must be strong enough to stand by her own beliefs, and strong enough to admit his / her mistakes too. After all, life is about balance.
For some reason, I get emails from readers and they would always mention how they are / were being bullied or treated badly by others.
Honestly, when you are the "victim" of bullying of others, I hope that you develop that mental courage and another level of understanding that... hate being brought by another person is not your fault at all, but a reflection of what he/she feels inside and unfortunately, this person tries to lash it out on people. My advice for this kind of situation is to avoid it at all cost, and remember that you are not entitled to participate in their drama invitation. Do not feel bad about yourself but feel bad about the person who is full of negativity inside that he / she could no longer keep it inside, and he / she decides to find a victim.. and it's you. When in actuality, he / she is the victim of his / her own self-made drama / hate.
I don't know if this is one of the signs of aging (lolol) but I find it easier now to let go and just get away from any situation even if I feel that I'm quite bothered inside. I know that words cannot be taken back when said, and I don't want to create or make the situation worse by fighting back and retorting to below-the-belt sentiments. That is why when somebody throw rocks at you, don't throw back the rocks. Just try to dodge and run from those. Eventually, this person will get tired when he/she tries to chase you.
Although if you are in a situation where you cannot run away that easily, I hope that you build up that courage inside of you (yup, it's right there, just sleeping!) and speak up. There had been times in my life that even with little ounce of courage, I had to wake it up because I know that as a human with same rights like other humans, I cannot just stand there and tolerate every degrading statement being thrown towards me and I am stuck in a position where I cannot "escape the wrath". This is probably why I have this feisty / strong / sassy side, haha. Thank you, experiences.
In your lifetime, you might also meet people who are quite "tricky" and they try / attempt to manipulate your emotions or feelings. Beware of those kinds of people. I met some before and it felt like a mental war. Huhu.
What I don't really like is when people try to twist your good intentions / sincerity against you. I know that not all people are unaware about "emotional manipulation" so here is a helpful list / guide on how to spot if you are being manipulated. Please read the comments section too, since those are quite insightful. There are some people who are not conscious about what they do, so that is something to consider as well. : )
Forgiveness, understanding, moving on, freeing yourself...
This probably sounds crazy to some but when you come to accept the fact about life that you will not get along with everybody and it is FINE, your life will be more peaceful than ever. And forgiveness.. even if we think that some people don't deserve such, just think that we all deserve "peace" in our hearts. And we're not perfect people as well. If you are going to leave Earth tomorrow (knock on wood), would you still carry the negativity that somebody just lashed out on you before? Let it go. We do not need unnecessary baggages and grudges. We need more love and energy for us to chase for our dreams, hehe!
So when people show their toxic behavior towards you, do not take it personally. Be the bigger person and I hope that you can become an example / role model of this person instead. The hurt and (-) people are the ones who need enlightenment the most. And people do change. Be an instrument or an enabler of a good / positive change in others.
Do not let yourself be tempted to hate back. Has hate resolved anything in this world? Only love can do that.
No matter how good you think you are or how pure your intentions are, honestly.. the reality / real word does not care. And we have to accept that.
That is why I admire the people who still / think / feel good & be (+) even if they are aware that life is not fair... even if their actions are being fair.
In the end, these unfair situations can either make or break you (it's up to you on how you apply your experiences).
I'd like my unfair situations to "make" me instead.
I don't want to become a victim in any negative circumstance. I'd like to be a survivor who has learned a lot. If it's going to be shitty, might as well squeeze out all the learnings from that situation for future knowledge.
Nobody deserves the role of a forever victim. We all deserve to be called survivors.