It’s Tough But I’m Tougher

Hi all!

Today, I spent most of my time at home doing some backlog work. I also filmed a flip-through video of my hobonichi and surprised myself with this page. I was out of the country for 6 days last week and I already had amnesia about the detailed happenings in early August.. omg lol. :)) I thought it’s been a month or so since I’ve tried Nana’s Green Tea but dear Lord, it was just last August 23. My brain, what’s up?? :))

These past few weeks have been a bit hard for me and I’m really just doing my best to just focus on the positives and just treat any challenge as how it should be treated (…a challenge ^^). A few months ago, I have decided to go more “full-time” with my brand Rainbowholic / content creation passion. Full-time doesn’t actually mean total full-time since I have to be realistic + I’m not rich enough to feed myself with just Rainbowholic (yet) … lolol TT_TT

These days, I work 2 days for myself (managing a youtube channel / blog / shop), 1 day for English part-time job, 2 days for JLM Store.. and sometimes during weekends, I also work extra for myself because #passion lol (thanks Aki for being so patient & understanding). Before, it was 4-5 days a week at our company. Even deciding to spend more time on it took a lot of courage from me because I was aware of the fact that doing so would gain discouragement from others (unfortunately.. this is how real world works).

Sadly, sometimes.. others could mean close family or friends who are dear. Β I do not want to dwell in those because I know that people who really matter in life or the ones you should really keep (as they always say) are the ones who show unconditional support during your happiest or saddest times. In addition to that, a lot of things happened which really tested me for many days (chasing my dreams by multiple trial and errors, monthly adulting things, being an ofw – Overseas Filipino Worker who sends money for her/his family, the unexpected anxiety of just thinking about my parents getting old + health issues and they are still living not so comfortably.. omg… brain, stahhpp :|). There are those times I just want to fast forward to my future self.. but of course, there is no such thing as overnight success. I am just truly believing that right now, even if I am going through something, this is life preparing me. And I’m quite proud about how I save money these days because when they say it’s hard to save in a first-world country.. oh gurrrrllll, you gotta try visiting your local grocery during closing time lol.Β And it doesn’t mean that even if I’m having a hard time, I cannot be happy (hence, I was still able to enjoy our Thailand trip with a limited budget! but omg, we missed our flight! #storytime in future posts lol). I am still very happy and thankful. Hard times reveal true character. And I know that my character is resilient. I may be randomly tearing up whenever I just think of these problems but at the end of the day, I have to pull myself up & I just gotta do what I should do. That I should just continue what I have already started, to learn along the way & enjoy the journey, to remind myself that the lack of support or opinions of others do not matter, and… to stay strong. Keep going, me!

Actually, it made a lot of sense why I had to experience / encounter a lot of crappy things years ago because in spite of that fact, I was still being productive last month even though in reality, it wasn’t 100% everything-is-working-out rainbows at all (this is what I mean when I say my life is colorful, haha). Even though I am probably your average optimistic girl out there, I also have those days when I just have to pause, recover, reflect, and prepare again. And it’s definitely okay to be not okay. Β And that day was today…Β πŸ˜”

Oh God, after writing all of these thoughts in my head.. I feel so much better now. I feel rejuvenated to write down all my realizations during these times. Someday, I’m just gonna read all of these and I’ll be proud of myself that I have kept myself together & I’m a survivor.. or better yet, a winner of my life. ^^

Go fight me,

カむラ

 

4 thoughts on “It’s Tough But I’m Tougher

  1. Hi Kaila! Thanks for sharing this side of you to let more people know that it’s okay not to be okay ❀
    Let’s pick ourselves up and go forward together!

    ReplyReply

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