Hello friends! Just taking a break from all the #OurKawaiiTokyo duties today. We are going to launch in 2 hours! *_*
This post has been on my mind for already a week and I guess it’s time to write down all my feels again. Hehe! ^_^
I think that people are like flowers.
But we are of different types. Sometimes, when we see others reach their dreams or become successful (when it’s their “full bloom season”), we tend to compare our journey / entire life. And that is when we start to become miserable and unhappy. I am not saying this without basis because with all honestly, I’ve had some serious insecurities too when I was younger.
When I was in my adolescent years, I envied some of the girls in my age because they had many clothes that I wish I also had in my closet. There was a time when I only had 1 outfit (dat orange shirt, jogging pants, rubber shoes lol) every Sunday when I go to mass with my family. That time, I really disliked going to the church where most of my classmates from school would also go to because I felt that my friends would judge me (lol, baby kaila problems). And that was one my inspirations when I was growing up. “10 years from now, I will have fashionable clothes too!” “My time will also come, if I make it happen!” Now, I already have an ootd album uploaded to my fb page, hehe.
I learned the hard way that I should just wait for my turn patiently (while also working on my own goals), rather than be passive & insecure of others who’ve attained so much.
Before, I did not see myself as a beautiful person. I compared my physical features / blessings with others. I was that girl who did not have any admirers at all lol (until I had one as I was about to graduate univ hahaha) and I felt like I was the loneliest girl in the world lololol. I wasn’t invited to any prom, and I was so awkward with guys (went to an all-girls school). I thought I was not pretty (I think I am now, huehue #noshame) because nobody found me “pretty” (in the Philippines, types of women are labeled as chinita, morena, lalala). This might be embarrassing (or funny) to reveal but I have had a lot of rejections to the point I am now considering to live a single blessed life as a happy woman (already giving up on love at 24? haha). Long time ago, I used to seek for my worth and confidence on how people would see or accept me. I realized it was wrong because in reality, a person’s confidence reflects what he / she feels deep inside. Upon realizing that, I slowly built my confidence by doing a lot of mental reengineering haha.
Let me narrate a quick story about Kaila and her hair.
Before, I was so naive that I listened to people telling me “You will look beautiful with straight hair”,.. and so much more. Actually, I was already happy with my wavy and thick hair.. but because everybody was doing it and it seemed like in order to be beautiful in the Philippines, you have to have that long straight hair…. so I decided to do it. And guess what? The straightening damaged my hair so much that it took me 2 years to get it repaired. The actual act wasn’t really the problem. I realized that I was prone and gullible to believe in others’ opinion about my own kind of beauty. I have to do it like this, like that.. until I had a major reflection… Why can’t I just be beautiful in my own right?
That is why here in my blog, I’ve been writing blog entries from the heart about these certain topics that used to be a big deal to me. I guess when you grow up, you just really run out of f—- to give about the things that do not matter and you just wanna enjoy your life and make it the best. And you just want to learn, and learn.. even if this learning thing gets you damaged hair that required 2 years of repair (the horror).
Now back to the flowers.
I have a lot of favorite flowers and most of the time, these are seasonal. Oh how I wish I could make a garden of these flowers all at the same time (not just flower pots!).. but I think that it’s not scientifically possible since weather / climate are factors that should be considered (tsk science, sigh haha). And like what I have mentioned here, I really do think that people are like flowers. And that means, we are all beautiful in our own ways.. and we have to celebrate ourselves, rather than comparing and becoming miserable about the things that we lack which others have. Comparing one’s chapter 99 to your chapter 2 or chapter 100 is just wrong. Comparison is the #1 guilty thief of joy, gratefulness.. and all things happy. We tend to overlook the fact that we are sooooooo blessed and others out there also admire our strengths that they do not have. : ) And sometimes, when we see others shine in their yellow sunflower glory or beautiful shade of purple like hydrangea, it’s not because you’re unlucky with too much sun or lack of rain… it’s because they’ve probably encountered the worst storms or dehydrating summer time to the point that they’ve come out with stronger roots.. and they’re as rewardingly beautiful as ever (like you!) and it is their blooming season.
I learned that if we compare our lives with other people, we have this tendency to lose our focus in improving our own. Some would try their best to compete and realize later on that.. it does get tiring (and has no good effects). Although I am quite a competitive or an over-achiever girl.. the only thing that I see right now in my vision.. is my own lane. My own life. If I keep on looking for a long time at people driving their fast cars on the other side, my journey would be slowed down… or worse, I’d probably hit at something. Some people reach their dreams faster than others, and that does not mean that we have to keep up with everyone. It just means that it is their time.. and the best way to think about that is to get inspired by them rather than attempt to race with them.
Maybe, we just have to figure out on our own first how to read maps, navigate, and happily drive to our dream destination.
And once we reach it, we can all enjoy the stunning view of a field of assorted colorful flowers.
Enjoy and smell the flowers, everyone!