Hello everybody! : )
I am not quite sure why I am currently on a blogging spree these days. And mostly, these posts are about my reflections. Kaila the old soul, haha.
Maybe it's because there had been too many things happening recently in my life.. ? Or maybe this is a sign of growing up? Adult life.. *sigh*.
For this entry, I shall share with you how rejection over the years has made me stronger and wiser. I realized that rejection can either turn a person...
From my younger years until now, I have been rejected too many times that I've lost count. I have been rejected by my favored university, by the Japan embassy (denied visa), by friends, by my crushes (haha, so highschool but that time huhu </3)... and sometimes, when we have to deal / face rejection on our own.. we just tend to take those rejections too personally. Sometimes, when things turn out so well, we turn sour & negative and we lose our natural sweetness and positivity.
If there is one question (which my friend Ashley asked me) that would always make me feel better or make me realize instantly that "it's okay" during my troubling times, it would be -
"10 years from now, will it still matter?".
And my answer to that is that-
I do not think so. No.
For all the rejections I had to face and accept, I am proud to say that right now... all of those are now making sense. I simply cannot imagine my life at present undoing everything, all the bad memories, my past hurts, and the moments I once thought were shameful.. no matter how sad those were, those are still puzzle pieces of my life. And it is up to me if I should still mourn over those or just be happy of what those had made me who I am today. My not-so-good experiences that I wanted to erase and forget, let me hug all of you, hehe. And I don't know, I guess that when you grow up, you just realize that you have to stop caring so much about spilled milk and instead, care about the fact that you need to find some cloth to wipe the mess. Stains will probably stay, but that is better than not doing anything and letting it dry up as a spoiled one right? : )
I am thankful for all the rejections and delayed blessings because without them, I would not be able to find other ways and stretch out myself. For all the hassling times / step-by-step procedures that I had encountered, my patience for not having what I want was truly tested. And patience is a trait that is important in life. I became a more hard-working person and I learned that no matter what your circumstances are, you can make your dreams happen. Before, I thought that only those people coming from the well-off families can achieve their dreams.. or that only a small percent from the not-so-well-off people can live a life of their dreams. There was a time that I had that close-minded thinking, until I realized that it all depends on the person. Your life depends on the way you choose to live it. You can be rich but prefer to become a bum who never stops complaining or a person from a poor situation who works hard every single day of his / her life. I realized that because I struggled my way through the "no's" and "you can't" and "that's impossible / crazy", I learned that what others say or when the society tells you "no"... they do not really mean anything, unless you accept defeat. Accept the "no"... but not trying again , that one should not be accepted.
When I was turned down by the guys I liked (and I had a lot of embarrassing feelings), at first.. of course, I became sad for a while (#human). I thought that there was something wrong about myself until I had a realization that maybe, I just deserve someone better, not someone that I know would be better for me. It's weird because I realized what kind of person.. the kind of person that I have to be (a strong self-loving woman who can find happiness in solitude). And I think that others are true when they say that "we are too focused on finding the right person, when we should focus on becoming the right person". ^_^
If there is one thing that really hits my heart or makes me really vulnerable, that would be a failed friendship (which is also categorized under rejection for me huhu). I value the term "friend" so much and for me, friendship is not only about the fun times that you share together. It is a mutual understanding that even if you and your friend do not get along in some aspects, you still love each other as a friend and be there for each other, through thick and thin. Through laughter and tears. That is why I'd sometimes find it harder to move on from a friendship that was not fought for.. or not given another chance. (tear.jpg) Because I've experienced quite a few sad cases with this, I began to have this defensive mechanism, maybe because I've been hurt before that I try my best to shield myself for more hurt and drama. And this is what I learned from all of these.. it's about finding balance between reaching out & forgetting your pride, and also knowing your worth. I've been in emotionally manipulative friendships and it was really ;___;. But now, I'd rather not play a victim anymore because I know that I have a choice now. And... I would like to keep the quality high. I know that I cannot be liked by everyone, and it is okay. And you can choose to also reject the things or events that make you sad or that do not bring happiness in your life. : )
And as you can tell, this is what different kinds of rejection has made me over the years.
Rejection built my character.
I now know that I have to keep an open mind for all the possibilities and opportunities I could create for myself when I am being rejected from a dream of mine.
I now know who I'd like to be with in the future, if I am meant to be with one. Why chase when you can attract the right person by being your beautiful perfectly imperfect self?
I now know that I have to keep the balance when maintaining quality friendships. And I do not have to take others' opinions / actions towards me personally. : )
Rejection has taught me the important value of acceptance. That you can still smile, breathe, and regain that fighting spirit even with all the discouragement.
I hope that whatever kind of rejection/s that have happened / will happen in your life (let's face it, life is not going to go the way we plan it to be)...
I hope that... you'd also realize that being rejected from something you once thought was "good" for you... actually means that you are going to be directed to something even greater.
And it's going to be ridiculously better than ever.
With lots of warm hugs from me,