Thank U, 2018.

Spending the first day of 2019 by reflecting on the previous year.

2018 was the year when a lot of adulting things happened. The start was really rough and every month, there was some challenge that I had to overcome in my offline life. I am just so glad that I came out much mentally stronger than I’ve ever been.

2018 was the year when I finally became 100% self-sufficient and fully independent on my own. Coming home to my own (small and humble) Japanese apartment every time from my English teaching job was something that I used to dream about. That kind of simplicity already made me feel contented. I used to live with my cousin for a couple of years (before that, with my older brother) and to save money, we decided to just share the expenses. Come May 2018 (please refresh my memory if it was really May haha) when I had the opportunity to move to my dear friend’s place (he moved back to PH) and after all the paperwork that needed to be done, the apartment was now under mine. #AchievementUnlocked huhu

During the same period, I was granted with a 5-year working visa. I never thought I would be granted with such a long time but maybe the universe also felt that I deserved it. All the hard work paid off.

My mantra for 2018 was to “Take one day at a time” which I did. I was the type of person who would try to maximize her entire day that I would be upset if I didn’t finish a job that needed to be done (I was too hard on myself). I’m so glad that I learned how to become more gentle or kinder to myself when it comes to work.

I was able to travel a lot last year too. I don’t know how I made it happen but I’m glad I was able to save for those travels that nourished my creative soul more. Traveling would always cure my tired mind and body. My goal was to explore Japan more last year and I was able to save with Aki for the 9 Days Japan Backpacking trip. I went back to Philippines with him and had a well-spent time with family & friends. We were also able to travel to other prefectures I haven’t been to as well (hi Fukushima trip that I have not blogged about yet haha). Work hard but travel harder indeed, haha!

(Photo by Yumi-san)

2018 was also the year when I finally learned how to let go of superficial things. I took long breaks from social media especially twitter and instagram. I’ve grown tired of using facebook and updating the world what I’ve been up to and so (if you noticed, I mostly promoted / posted about anything shop-related haha). My personal facebook would be just full of tags from friends and random “wtf?” shares haha. I made myself more focused on using the internet for business-related. I was a heavy user of instagram before that I could just spend the entire hour scrolling and getting lost there. I spent a ridiculous time uploading the same content on twitter and all to the point it was becoming unhealthy for me (too much of anything is not good) and it felt like I was wasting time while I’d struggle with my super slow phone. One day, I just got fed up & decided to focus on just a few platforms and to be honest, all the best things are the undocumented / unposted ones. 🙂 My skill upgraded when it comes to editing videos and creating content too. I was able to grow my brand Rainbowholic with the focus and concentration I got from having social media breaks. My patreon account has become another source of income for me as well which I believe would never happen if I continued my unhealthy social media usage habits.

Another superficial thing that I learned to let go of having consistent flaky friends. I have no patience for people like this anymore, lol. I started saying no to people who would just come to me when they would need my help / support / advice when they would not even ask me how I was doing or so. You know a friendship is gonna go bad when after a month, you find yourself just listening and absorbing all the negative energy of the person and they don’t even ask how you were. It would always be about them. I learned that distancing yourself from people like this is probably the best thing that you can do for yourself. As you grow older, your circle of friends really get smaller and I’m really okay with that. My real friends right now appreciate me for who I am (not what I can do for them and vice versa) and we got each other’s back when we have trouble times. It was like a heartbreak experience for me but sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s okay to have falling out because it happens to not only to me, but to all people.

Wew, anyway.. that was heavy, haha. I wonder if other people also experienced the same way last 2018?

Please do not mind the super fashionable shoe-fie above (socks + slippers combo lolol #fashion) but I just wanna share this photo because I remember this day so vividly. It was during a super busy day at home (I didn’t have the studio yet) and I had to go to a nearby convenience store to get lunch.. and I saw these flowers that cheered up my spirits.. 🙂

If ever you feel overwhelmed and like you feel like you have so many things to do, walking around and being more conscious of your surroundings help a lot.

I’m really thankful for last year. The blessings (and blessings in disguise) definitely outweighed all the stressful times / breakdowns. I feel like I have matured more and I’m at a place where I feel at peace with everything (both good and bad).

Looking forward to a happy 2019! It doesn’t have to be all about success. I just want to be able to have more opportunities to spend time with my loved ones while doing the things that I love. That is my goal this year.

Thanks guys for being part of my 2018 and I’m happy that you’ve reached this part of my blog entry, haha!

(Yay, people still read blogs~ lolol.)

With love,

Kaila

7 thoughts on “Thank U, 2018.

  1. You deserve all the love and blessings, Kaila! Happy New Year! (From a silent reader you have touched and inspired) ❤️

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  2. Happy New Year Kaila! It seems like 2018 we went through a lot of the same things. I definitely got overwhelmed and tired of all the social media AND I had to “break up” with a best friend of over 20 years for the same reasons you mentioned above. Here’s to 2019! <3

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