I was just browsing through my old profile pictures on facebook, and found this photo of myself during my birthday last January (2013). And it's going to be in less than a month.... again! Time flies so fast when you're having fun! TT_TT
It gave me a shudder by just looking at it because it also somehow reminded me of that dark period in my life, haha.
2013 literally started from my zero / negative number.. and I'm happy to say that it's going to end with a positive 100% or... even more! :D
It isn't obvious in the photo but during this time (check the eyebags guys haha), I wasn't truly happy about myself... and ..
I couldn't sleep right and all I did for the whole first week of 2013 was.. to cry. Why? It was because I just found out that time, that le past had already someone new. And I cried over that... TT_TT #why #WHY #WHY : ))
I don't know how I managed to hold it all in, not telling a single friend what the hell happened to me.. so everyone that time was surprised. Bright and cheerful Kaila was crying her eyeballs out, tsk. :)) You know you've moved on when you laugh at your mistakes / past problems and worries.
Anyway, enough of the past. This post is actually going to be an OPEN congratulatory / happy / love letter to my 22 yr. old self! *dances*
I know that this is a weird thing to do, but I know I deserve a self pat on the back from time to time. Even though I'm usually very optimistic, I admit that I'm quite hard on myself too.. and sometimes I'd believe in my own voice that "I'm not enough" and the like... I guess it's just natural to want to become better, just a human being here, haha.
The figure below is too accurate to describe what I'm feeling right now. :))
So there... here's an uplifting message to the girl who stood in the storm & adjusted her sails when the wind did not blow her away. I memorized this quote for self-motivation, lol. :))
Dear 22. yr old Kaila / Present Self,
You did an amazing job this 2013 and it's not even finished yet! I'm super proud of you! : )
There had been many times when you had every right to break down.. but you were able to control your emotions (at least, you're doing better now). You are doing great with "compartmentalizing" your life. Finally, you have learned! : )) Although it was the hardest way to learn, at least you survived. Look how far you've come from before!
Even though your year started almost from rock bottom / the ground (honestly, I think that it even went past through the earth's core, haha), you were able to lift yourself up.. with really just you, and yourself (and with that Guy up there ^^). Friends and family are an amazing bunch of moral support but it's really up to you if you want to be genuinely happy or not.
For every love and friendship that you lost (because #lifehappened), you rediscovered the most important person you used to ignore / overlook...
.. and that person is... you, Kaila. : )
Also, you've finally learned how to say "no" to negativity! You deserve all the positive and good vibes by surrounding yourself with like-minded people! Don't let yourself be used again.
Who would think that an average girl / dreamer like you.. would get this far? Could it be luck? Luck is part of it but it's also because you're a very determined person to begin with. Give yourself some credit too~ ^_^
Though this year had been a crazy rollercoaster ride for you, so many twists and turns in your offline life (like a Korean drama series, haha).. with your eyes set on your goal + sincere intentions, I know whatever you're working hard for will arrive to you at the right time.. when you are READY.
You are loved, you are blessed, and you are enough. You're weird and you should embrace that trait, haha. You are perfect like that, just the way you are. :)
Also, it's okay not to be workaholic too. It's okay to take a break, haha!
Ignore what they tell about you, expect that you're not going to please everyone and just continue pursuing your purpose with your blessings / current means. And this purpose, you should never forget this. To share happiness (and kawaii) through your photos, posts, projects... to people. :)
You have gained so much wisdom from your failures, so you're still very much of a winner and a champion. Never a loser, ok! :D
And.. choose to be choosy, alright! You deserve the best kind of extraordinary love, because you are valuable. : )
May all your dreams come true and never let anyone/anything dull that sparkle in you.