When your loved ones are not supportive

 Hello everyone! Good afternoon from Japan! : )

Here is one of my highly-requested topics from my readers. It's about going after what your heart truly desires when precious people around you are not supportive / as enthusiastic as you when you tell them about your dreams. ^^

*That moment when you realize that your kawaii blog is slowly turning into a self-help blog. * : ))

Hope that this would be helpful for others who are currently undergoing troubling times such as this.

(Disclaimer: Blog entry might contain profanity lolol. )

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I won't tell you the exact do's and dont's (there is no written manual in life haha) but instead, I will share my personal experience on how I chased after what I really want to do in my life even if I knew my parents expected me to do something else.  In the Philippines (not sure if I should generalize this), children are mostly expected to graduate from college and apply for big companies after. However, I knew that I was kind of different (I call myself crazy) because I don't really enjoy being placed in an environment wherein I would just do what I am told to do so, work for others and make the company rich, play it safe and get comfortable with the benefits, and the like (when I know deep inside that I'm meant to do other things). That kind of environment is not for me, huhu. Please don't get me wrong though, I do not intend to offend people who do work in the corporate world (I have lots of friends who do so, and I admire them a lot because it's no easy feat to climb the corporate ladder ;_;.. go friends!). It's just that, there are just other people like me who tend to be riskier than others (?) and opt to do things at his/her own pace / style. I actually have a love-hate relationship with this trait of mine, haha. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, but I love the feeling of getting myself out of shit and pulling myself back together and expanding my zones. Maybe this is entrepreneurial spirit? And there are a lot of factors to consider why I have become like this. : ))

One of the factors would be is the fact that money  / financial problems have played a big role in my problematic childhood / teenage life. I saw how my parents strived hard to give me the best kind of education (which I am forever grateful for) and I realized that we had troubles with money because fixed income cannot resolve money problems. Only entrepreneurship / working for yourself can do that (unless you gain the VP / top position in a company and they reward you with big money already.. case-to-case basis I guess). When you grow up, you would realize that TIME means a lot of money. And when your time is being limited in company work hours and you've got a lot of catching up to do with your finances, you would be in trouble & caught up in frustration. That is why I treat time as something super valuable since it means that with 2-3 extra hours in a day, I can do so much. I can finish my clients' requests, take photos of our inventory, and so much more. Or can I have my power nap lol. Hope you guys get what I mean. ^^ Anyway, I'm shying away from the topic now, haha. But this way of thinking.. my parents probably had other set of ideals for their children and I've accepted that fact a long time ago. My main hypothesis is that it's a generation thing (I was born in a more open-minded generation where webdevelopers / graphic designers are considered as professionals.. unlike before when attorneys, doctors, nurses, and the usual are the only accepted titles I guess). Right after college, I didn't ask for money or allowance from them anymore because it's just weird to want to live your life the different way... and yet you rebel aggressively against people who financially support /feed you. Maybe I'm also lucky because my older brother has been patiently helping me to be independent + he has been teaching me to learn the ropes on how to run a business / company. Many people are curious what I do in my life, and there you go. I work with (not for, hehehe) my brother in our company here in Japan.

I guess that I got my risky traits from my older brother (Kuya Eric) because I saw with my own eyes how he built everything that he has now when he ran away from our family before. If you don't like the way your parents run the household or you think it should be different, please do not cause additional / unnecessary trouble inside. Have the courage to use your frustrations to fuel the life of your dreams by doing your own gigs that do not hurt others. Some people think that f-cking up your life by developing addictions such as alcoholism, being involved with drugs, being tangled up with relationships that drag you down, not giving a damn about your tuition fee by skipping classes, losing control of your life and blaming everyone else (when everyone has the choice to change his / hers)... are the right ways to rebel and prove your parents wrong. If you think of it differently, these kinds of actions might actually prove them right about the fact that their idea of success for you should be followed. I don't know if I am making any sense but I hope I am, hehe. >_<

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 You know what I've discovered during my growing up years? It's true what they say that "Don't just tell them your dreams, show them". I love telling people about my ideas and dreams because I know that it's part of visualizing / law of attraction (their response whether good and bad = both ok desu haha). If you are in a situation where you feel that you have to explain yourself and the like (to gain verbalized support), for me.. you really don't have to take time to explain especially when these people have another idea about success (which might be different from yours). Waste your time in doing what you're supposed to do and let your success story show them of your idea of happy success, hehe.

"Blogging" or being a blogger and how it correlates with my current achievements is something that I'd find hard to explain in detail to my mom. Actually, my parents do not expressively say that they do not agree with my life decisions and such (#thankful) but I know that it might be difficult for them to fully understand what I really do in my work / current craft. Again, it's a generation thing hehe.

Whenever friends would ask for my advice about "how to make my family accept my decisions on what I want to do in my life".. I'd always say that whatever you plan to do, be responsible enough and commit to your decision. Before I could go on and do various work (e-commerce, online marketing, blogging, photography, anything strategic & creative), I had to be practical and do jobs under our company. I used to (and sometimes, I still do) crumple newspaper sheets for our packages and... can I just say that I am proud of that. Even if I joked around and told my brother how much I hated doing that (so un-rainbowholic of Kaila lol wtf), I still love doing that task because it keeps me grounded / humble. I learned that everybody starts small somewhere and there is no such thing as overnight success, unless a genie granted you lots of luck.

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So when somebody is unsupportive you, don't let the unsupportive-ness stop you from reaching your full potential. Remember that you have the power to try and try again. As of the moment, I am still figuring out a lot of things I know I'd make many messy loops in my life... but it's okay. As long as the loops do not stop, it means that I am still living, and I still have a lot of opportunities to make things right & create my own kind of happy. : )

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 I do think that this looks better than the previous one, haha. Add lots of positivity sprinkles and life is better! : )

Also, what I've learned recently is that don't take things too personally. Sometimes, taking things too personally will become a hindrance for growth. Before (like 2 years ago?), I'd feel bad whenever my Dad would bring up the topic about me working somewhere else (and I was starting to make my own name).. and then I realized I should just let those feelings go. Some people really do have different opinions about things and it's up to you if you'd feel bad about those and sulk, or just ignore and chase your dreams with support or no support. Eventually, they will realize and become more open-minded because of you. And maybe, they'll even join you in the future too! ^^

Gambatte, fellow dream achiever!

Love, Kaila

4 thoughts on “When your loved ones are not supportive

  1. i don’t think anything could’ve prepared me for the fact that the people who were supposed to be the most supportive ones in your life could turn out to be the most detrimental. I fear that I desire something that’s impossible so I greatly admire you for doing something that is a dream for me to wish for

    http://Www.whimsicalzoo.blogspot.com

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  2. I can relate to you since I’m pinay too :) and also how you feel when it comes to having a job and stuff. I’m glad that I have found your blog because I can really relate to it. :D

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