Yesterday, I met up with a "long lost friend" whom I've just exchanged comments on instagram. We haven't met each other personally before but it felt like a reunion, instead of a "first meeting". I cannot recall how many times the web / this blog has introduced me to these wonderful people whom I really consider as friends now. I am grateful for the universe for these lovely coincidences because I actually find it rare to "connect with a person" so comfortably. Call me an old soul, but I am the person who is tremendously interested in being part of a conversation that is all about dreams, positivity, passions, adventures, and life pursuits.
This girl whom I've just met goes by the name Nelli and she runs a blog called "Sweets and Brains". She is currently an English teacher in Korea. If you'd like to visit South Korea someday, please do visit her blog for cafe / travel suggestions! : )
While we we were going deeper and deeper in our conversation, I realized that we do have a lot of things in common (aside from being observant introverts haha). She studied psychology in her university and this field is actually something that I also find interesting since it mostly deals with human interaction, haha. As I was telling her about what I think about "kawaii culture", she told me that my opinion about kawaii could also mean "positive psychology". And when she said that, it gave me goosebumps. The feel-good goosebumps. I guess she hit the right words that I've been trying to also figure out in my mind. Indeed, the way I plan to "spread kawaii" through my blog and collaborative projects is also my way to spread and educate others that かわいい can be a positive mindset, rather than the usual keywords about kawaii: fashion, character goods, dolly dresses, and the like.
Later on, we talked about how being "appreciative" and "thankful" has both helped us. As I've mentioned in many entries before, I actually went through depression when I was in my earlier twenties. This is usually a taboo topic (depression) but since I've come out as a survivor (life ain't perfect still and never will but at least, I now know how to cope with negative thoughts). It is probably weird to say this but I am thankful for all the not-so-good stuff that I've encountered in my life. Even if my "dark childhood" was something that I couldn't imagine surviving before (to the point I would pray on my knees almost every night), I am still thankful for the past hard stuff. Maybe I'm crazy but I guess I wouldn't be this person who I am right now if it weren't for all the sad circumstances I've put up with, failures I've turned into "Now-I-Know" experiences and ended relationships that have made me realize a lot of things about maturity. Things could have been worse.. and the "bad" isn't that bad after all, if you change the way you think or how you address the problem.
Since I've already delved into the topic of depression or negativity in general.. I'll share some personal insights about it. I realized that when I was depressed (I guess this would also apply to others?), I would literally *ZOOM IN* to a single negative thought even if in actuality, the day in summary is actually happy. Out of 10 things to be grateful about.. I would focus myself on those 2-3 things that were negative. I remember the time when my brother bought all these fun fukubukuro (lucky bags) for me (le brother shopped for me) and it was all from my favorite kawaii brands. Because I was depressed, I couldn't even be thankful for a minute. And then one day, it just hit me. I woke up one morning with birds chirping in the background and I was thankful because I didn't cry myself to sleep. I was able to sleep comfortably because I was plain tired from the work I was doing. And I was being grateful for that. It's kinda silly to include that in my gratitude list before but.. it was the start of my escape from this self-diagnosed "depression". And look at me now, even though there are days wherein I have struggles and have mental battles with my mind, I am much more positive. I do not take things too personally when people treat me bad.... as much as how I did before. I began to relax and live life happier even if I am still swamped with seemingly endless work. Indeed, every mood and every thing that we feel... is our own choice. Now, I would tell and lecture myself, "Kaila, you can choose to be happy now.. or become an unappreciative and whiny girl." Happiness is a choice, not a destination. We can never be happy if we make it a conditional statement. We can only be happy if we choose to be happy with what we have right now. : )
Whenever I would reflect, I have this tendency to google thoughts and collect powerful images with quotes before I sleep. I also love bookmarking websites that I find helpful. If you cannot sleep because you have so many thoughts like I do, I would recommend that you also do the same. Read stuff about positivity & gratitude.. you'll need your regular dose in preparation for the next morning. : )
Here are some of my favorites from the 40 Inspiring Motivational Quotes About Gratitude.
- "If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get." - Frank A. Clark
- "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."- Oprah Winfrey
- "The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."- John E. Southard
- "I truly believe we can either see the connections, celebrate them, and express gratitude for our blessings, or we can see life as a string of coincidences that have no meaning or connection. For me, I'm going to believe in miracles, celebrate life, rejoice in the views of eternity, and hope my choices will create a positive ripple effect in the lives of others. This is my choice." - Mike Ericksen
- "In life, one has a choice to take one of two paths: to wait for some special day--or to celebrate each special day." - Rasheed Ogunlaru
- "The more you are thankful. The more you attract things to be thankful for."
And the best quote that I learned from Nelli:
"It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy."
For my next entries that are under the "Thoughts" categories, I will be blogging about these topics:
- Manipulative friends / relationships & Emotional vampires
- When your loved ones are the most unsupportive
- How to deal with rejection (from seen-zoned idea proposals to relationships)
For some reason, I feel like my blog has been evolving these past few weeks, haha. I don't know why, maybe it is just me growing up & realizing a lot of things in life.
Let's all be thankful, awesome ones : )